Will Manny Ramierez assert “Small Balls” defense?

mannyramirez-293x300I have used steroids.  At one time or another I have done cycles of  of Deca-Durabolin, Primobolan, Sustanon and Winstrol. They are often done in combination.  While I am not a doctor, my personal experiences have given me  enough of a knowledge base to discuss steroid related subjects including the official statement of Los Angeles  Dodger slugger Manny Ramirez regarding his positive test for Performance Enhancing Substances and subsequent 50 game suspension from professional baseball.

According to news reports Ramirez tested positive for the drug, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin or HCG. HCG is primarily a female fertility drug .  It is also in rampant use by body builders to restart natural testosterone production as they come off of a steroid cycle.  According to ESPN, Ramirez also tested positive for artificial testosterone.

As a former steroid user, I am familiar with HCG. I have used it on numerous occasions.  HCG itself is  not a steroid, but a natural  hormone which develops in the placenta of pregnant women during pregnancy to controls the mother’s hormones.

Any experienced steroid user knows that including HCG  or a similar agent is a must for proper recovery after a steroid cycle. When a person takes testosterone steroids the body shuts down it’s natural production of testosterone to compensate for the huge spike in the artificial amount entering the blood stream.  When the athlete finishes the 8-12 week cycle, the body is no longer producing adequate amounts of testosterone and must be “kick started”  to get it flowing again.

If  a person does multiple heavy steroid cycles over an extended period and does not use HCG, one of the worst nightmare of every male occurs. His balls shrivel up eventually looking like a couple of raisins.  HCG is used to bring the family jewels back to normal size and and full “erectile” function.

What does all of this tell me about Manny Ramirez?  It tells me that it within the realm of reasonable probability that he  was probably doing significant and repeated testosterone steroid cycles.  Let’s look at Manny’s statement:

“Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.

I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I’m sorry about this whole situation.”

Are there medically legitimate reasons for a male to take HCG?  Yes there are. It is often prescribed for the treatment of delayed puberty boy when they have not developed their secondary sexual characteristics at the normal time in their life.  This is usually by 12-14 years old. I don’t think Manny fits the criteria for this use.

HCG is also used to treat Hypogonadism in males. This is a defect of the reproductive system resulting in a lack of function of the gonads.  It is commonly used when a male has a low sperm count and unable to get his wife/girlfriend pregnant.

The “HCG Diet” has also become a popular diet fad.

While I am admittedly not a medical expert, these are the only legitimate medical uses in males I am aware of.  Manny certainly does not fit the criteria for the 1st.  What about the second?

Let’s say I am a Major League ball player using an exotic testosterone steroid I believe will be undetectable. The only problem is that unless I take an agent to counter-act the side effect,s some severe male ego damaging side effects will occur. My balls will disappear. I will be unable to get it up. Without these things working properly what’s the point of being famous?

What’s a Steroid Monster to do?  I  take HCG to counteract the side effects.  HCG is detectable but I am also stupidly unaware that it is on the MLB banned list as it is not a steroid.  What do I do?  I have my doctor set me up for one of the above explanations.  I may assert the “Small Balls Defense” I make sure my doctor diagnoses a  legitimate use disorder for the HCG.

There is also a known embarrassing male side effect of prolonged HCG use in males.  This is the development of man breasts or “Bitch Tits” as known in bodybuilder circles.

Has anyone seen Manny with his shirt off lately?

In the end I suspect that, in order to spin the best he can,  Manny’s will present some type of “Small Balls Defense” explanation for his HCG use.  There is a lot more at stake here than 50 games, professionally, financially and repuation wise.   Common sense however seems to dictate the obvious.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck….   Maybe Manny should do commercial for Aflac while on suspension.

Note: This article originally appeared on BrianCuban.com.

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