Sports Illustrated needs less curves and more clues

2009-sports-illustrated-swimsuit-issue-bar-refaeliI’ll admit, I’m not a big fan of Sports Illustrated. Sure, they have good writers and nice photos and the layout is top notch all the way, but I guess I’m not that rabid an “all around” sports fan and one would think makes up the majority of their readership. Then again, isn’t it interesting that the years biggest seller is the swimsuit issue? That, in itself, befuddles me. With all the available nasty-ass, giant genitalia, hardcore porn available, why the hell would anyone throw down six bucks to look at skinny chicks in bikini’s?

But that’s not my issue.

My problem with SI is the enormous lack of credibility when they show this phony outrage over the use of anabolics in sports. When will publications of this ilk come to grips with the fact that “enhancement” has always been a part of sport. And always will be. And isn’t anybody over at the editors desk aware of how these drugs work? Time after time, they make claims and accusations that only cause embarrassment with their lack of accuracy and understanding. Opinion aside, they simply do not know what they’re talking about.

sportsillustratedIn the case of baseball, (which to me, is as perfect a game ever constructed – in spite of all they’ve done to fuck it up) steroid use is especially interesting. It’s easy to sound indignant and claim it’s cheating. But it isn’t cheating if everyone is doing it. Someone needs to send a memo over to the Sports Illustrated staff and inform them that steroids do not make someone a more talented athlete. They add a little strength. That’s it. So what that amount to is a fly ball that might otherwise fall just short of the fence, goes over the fence. A pitcher who still has skills but lost a couple of miles an hour on his fastball can pitch another 2 years longer. What’s so horrible? And please don’t talk about the integrity of the game! A lot of those old-timers weren’t angels and I’ll bet if Ty Cobb could take something to make him score more runs he’d be stocked to the rafters in it.

Instead of trying to remove the “improvements” they should simply compensate for them. This is where Citifield made the right call.

They made the park bigger and the walls higher. Perfect. Somebody realized that the reason home runs are exciting is because they’re rare. Or were. Watching three dozen HR’s a game is a bore. And besides, extra base hits, especially triples, are a lot more fun than watching someone trot around the bases – especially when it’s someone from the other team. A larger field becomes a self regulating advantage and disadvantage for hitters and pitchers alike. There really is no other choice.

I don’t want to get into a diatribe about the ethics or the morals of steroid use in sports. It’s been done to death. The fact of the matter is, they exist and they’ll be used. I just want Sports Illustrated et al to cease the indignance and stop pretending they’re the arbiters of “real” sportsmanship. And if they do, I have a question for them. I wonder if they’d be so zealous to go after those models that sell so many magazines if 1200cc_breast_implantsthey knew they were using “enhancement?” Between the breast implants and the diet pills and diuretics and liposuction and collagen and Juvaderm and laser treatments and thyroid drugs and stimulants and laxitives and yes, steroids, in order to look tigher and leaner…where’s the outrage over THAT?

I didn’t think so.

So let’s get real SI. Get off your high horse and climb aboard the 21st century. And stop saying you’re “afraid” for the game. Let’s talk about what really matters. In the meantime, in the last swimsuit issue there was a super smokin’ hot sexy model on the cover.

She was born in 1990.

Now that’s scary.

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